Those of us who grew up in the '80s look at the world a little differently than everybody else. We're not afraid of turning up the collar of our polo shirts and wearing some light blue eyeshadow. We think "Born in the U.S.A." should be the national anthem and the Commodore 64 was the best computer money could buy—and sometimes, of course, we just want to shout, shout, let it all out. We know the euphoria of Baby Jessica being rescued from the well, and the smug satisfaction of believing we helped solve world hunger by buying a "We Are the World" cassette single.
Our sense of humor also makes us unique. We laugh at things that might leave other people stone-faced. If our cultural references don't always make sense, well, as that old saying goes, I guess you just had to be there. Here are 25 jokes guaranteed to put a smile on the face of anyone who came of age in the 1980s. As for the rest of you, don't feel bad if these jokes go over your head. Not everyone can grow up in history's greatest decade.
1 Why are valley girls so odd?
They can't even!
2 What's the Queen's favorite Prince song?
"Purple Reign!"
3 Why would someone want to have a DeLorean as a second car?
They could drive it from time to time!
4 What do you get when you cross an '80s hair band with a fish?
BonChovy!
5 What kind of beer does Indiana Jones drink to reinforce his courage?
A Rolling Rock!
6 What's Madonna's favorite sauce?
Hollandaise. Celebrate!
7 What did Darth Vader say when the record store employee told him they were out of George Michael albums?
"I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing."
8 What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to a classical composers costume party?
"I'll be Bach!"
9 What's the name of Mr. T's girlfriend?
April, fools!
10 What's wrong with that Bonnie Tyler GPS?
It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart!
11 Why did the '80s kid always put the manger scene in the middle of the room?
Because nobody puts baby in the corner!
12 Can you believe that guy thinks he's a better Super Mario player than me?
He's wrong on so many levels!
13 Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail?
Because they couldn't cross the streams!
14 How does David Byrne from Talking Heads look these days?
He's the same as he ever was, same as he ever was!
15 What do you call a special interest group devoted to getting Pac-Man elected to a political office?
A Pac-PAC!
16 Which film won't Rick Astley let you borrow from his Pixar collection?
He's never going to give you Up!
17 Why did Bono fall off the stage?
He was too close to The Edge!
18 What does Pink Floyd need?
An education, obviously—seeing as "we don't need no education…" is a double negative.
19 What did the '80s tech employee say was wrong with the printer?
It was stuck in Depeche Mode!
20 What do '80s kids eat on their toast?
Jellies and Jams!
21 What did the '80s girl say when someone asked for her digits?
"867-5309. Just ask for Jenny."
22 What did the patient say when the doctor told him, "Your brain seems to have deleted all information about '80s music"?
"Oh no. What is The Cure?"
23 Have you heard there's finally going to be a Top Gun 2?
Hopefully, they finally catch those crazy engineers who built a highway that goes directly into the danger zone. [Credit: Stephen Colbert]
24 What's wrong with New Jersey?
It's OK, but I wish they would bring back Jersey Classic!
25 How come the members of U2 still haven't found what they're looking for?
Because the streets have no names!
And for more '80s silliness, check out the 25 Reasons We're Glad We Grew Up in the '80s.
To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our daily newsletter!
Filed Under1980s • Humor • JokesRead This Next20 Slang Terms Every 1980s Kid Will Remember
These tubular phrases are definitely best left in the past. January 3, 202125 Reasons We're All Obsessed with the 1980s in 2018
In case you haven't noticed, the '80s are back... again.July 18, 201820 Photos Only Kids Who Grew up in the 1980s Will Understand
Have a soft spot for mullets and Madonna? You must be an '80s kid.August 13, 201830 Facts That Will Overwhelm You with 1980s Nostalgia
It was a pre-24/7-news fantasy world where cellphones weighed two pounds.September 4, 201830 Gifts That Prove the 1980s Were the Best
Wicked awesome gifts for fans of last century's most righteous decade.December 10, 201820 Things Every "Cool Kid" Growing Up in the 1980s Owned
Think you were cool without these? Not even.January 30, 201931 Celebrity Couples from the '80s You've Totally Forgotten About
Who wasn't Rob Lowe with?February 11, 201920 Things All '80s Kids Remember
From the moonwalk to Betamax, these throwbacks will have you feeling '80s nostalgia. March 6, 202010 Things You Didn't Know about Justin Trudeau
Athlete, nerd, hopeless romantic, thespian. Yes, there’s a lot more to Canada’s Prime Minister than just politics.March 21, 2017Jon Hamm: The Best Life Interview
Jon Hamm, star of TV's Mad Men, reveals the secrets of manliness in a postmodern world.November 15, 2016